Jan 11, 2014|
Saturday January 11, 2014
Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)
Following is a paid program the views or claims -- you're not necessarily those of WYOK. Staff management or sponsors -- It's time for Larry and -- -- -- -- -- Lottery you win. On -- lie okay. Good morning. My name is Linda Evans I am the president and CEO of northeastern financial consultants. Where fee only financial planning firm clarks summit. And normally. I would be saying hi to my cohost -- cannon who unfortunately is not going to be with us today. She had a death in the family. And she -- them. Attending the funeral. But she will be listening I'm sure on Saturday when you're -- listen that's. So. We have with us today are guest expert on divorce. Attorney Barbara O'Hara who -- and -- who is going to be with us for the hour. So Barbara there's no question that it there is a lot of. I guess we would call it domestic violence behind so many divorces. But I think what really brought this to light was what happened last week in Scranton. Where Kathleen -- Rico was murdered by guys that I guess she was dating. And it's game really every once in awhile when those kind of things happen it brings the whole. Conversation about domestic violence to before. It does and there are some horrible things that yeah that came out and I. Who really wanted to talk this week about domestic violence and what people can do. -- resources are out there and if they're in that kind of relationship not to stay in a relationship where they could get hurt. A forum or killed. And it's so. Done. I wanted to talk today about what. I'm what abuse is and what. The -- legally what you could do and then I know you have some resources of where people who go for some counseling. If you find -- your relationship male or female because the laws gender blind if you're in a relationship where it. You're either threatened with physical violence threatened with death. As someone threatens to kill you. Poor. Or the person actually does something you know that this this strikes you pushes you wolf. Or actually. You should announce injury that where you may or may nine even have any. Any bruises. Or you're going to the hospital things like that and it ranges because I've seen from. I've seen two women who got ran over. Women who wanted to stop him from driving because. He was drunk and they -- afraid about him going out hurting other people and it literally getting run over. And running over -- multiple times it reminded me of yesterday when you saw that that guy and I did and I couldn't running every dog I I've had cases like that where -- really got run over. And had multiple. Surgeries to try to rehabilitate themselves. And a lot of time to go back to a guy and go back to guy for a lot of different reasons and sometimes because there financially trapped. Sometimes because they're emotionally trapped. And women have to look at this and or anyone in an abusive relationship. Have to look at this and say OK now I'm not gonna stay here. If I'm gonna continue to get hurt. -- I'm not gonna stay here and -- and continued to be emotionally or physically abused. And you have to get to that point where -- Where you've had enough and keep you get relief. And there are resource is out there and you are not as trapped as soon as your abuser has told you're trapped. You know what I mean by that is many times I have been doing this. Fuller since 1981. And for many times -- analysts say to me of what I -- I can't go to the court system because he knows everybody. I had to go to the court system he knows the cops he told me he knows the judges he told me I would never again -- cut off all the -- so I never get any money. He told me that they'll take my kids away he told me I get no assets no that's true. So they know what you get child support if you have custody of the child yes so this idea of if you leave you'll be penniless. Bum that it. The cops and the court system is not corrupt that the that you're gonna walk in there as an abused woman. And they're gonna look at this and say well I know this guy in the air force we're not -- and -- PSA against him. Now what's a pre -- PSA what's appears fans candidate is a protection from abuse act. Order and what that means is if you have been physically abuse tour threaten. The threats against your life for threats -- for physical abuse. Jorge if -- stalking you or forces you into a sexual act or something like that that would be abuse under the statue did you can go to. If you're an iconic county he would go to 200. In north Washington avenue what was the old annex building. And on the first floor there's someone who will help you fill out the forms for that you'll go see a judge and no end -- -- -- In Lucerne county fears appear they coordinator. In the government's key building. And they will on the third floor of the Kamensky building and they will help you fill that out. In both counties if it runs pretty much the same. Because this statute says you can get a temporary order just based on what you are saying. Obviously if you have gotten very used to take pictures of these things there's nothing more persuasive. Then a judge holding a picture of the bruise the cut whenever or medical records. Where this is what happened he beat me up on Tuesday night and they went to the hospital and this is here's a picture of my wounds. And here's the medical records for the medical treatment. No it argues that's not he said she sent any more laughs because there's some some demonstrative evidence where you can say this is what happens. Do you need -- time no because a lot of times the court will look at this and -- credibility. A lot of times they defer on the side of looking at the Daytona and no judge wants to see anybody get killed. No judge wants the listen but wants that kind of a responsibility for her. Liability on their conscious of saying well I didn't believer. And yeah -- not okay -- what and the PSA is it's a very important. School. A lot of people a lot of women get PF phase against abusive. Boyfriends husbands whenever. But as so many times we read in the paper after there's been some brutal. Attack or even a murder she had a PSA out against some. So the so let's see this at. What is -- the TSA actually does to help the problem to attack a PSA will be an order that says. He has to stay away from you. In public he has to stay away from you at your home. He can't come to your home usually gives exclusive possession. If you're married and living together -- give you exclusive possession of the house but if you're not to say this is a boyfriend this is the end of a bad relationship. It would be that he can't come to your house he can't come your place of business he can come to the school. Where you would ten do you teach and so it's to keep you safe. Think he beat me and him away from you okay so. That the beauty of this is for someone who respects. Legal authority they will stay away from me right. For those crazy man yeah there's gonna kill you anyway. It really it may not matter. But fortunately still at this point that's a minority you people. I mean that and it if you have if you have this crazy man he's gonna kill you -- Indiana -- or not it is better to have in order. Then just did to wing it and take your chances now what happens with with the order when you haven't order and he shows up. At your home your place of business. You don't need a second violation you call the cops and the cops. Actually should arrest him. And at that -- because he's in violation. OK it is a civil order but then a violation becomes an indirect criminal contempt for the civil order and they should put him in jail OK okay for how long. Well he's in jail until until a judge. Here's a case to see whether or not there was grounds to put him in jail. I -- some magistrates. And I am allowed them to be released but at that point there are now involved in the criminal justice system this is no longer a similar order that says stay away from our. This is now a criminal order where they could put him in jail for violation disorder. So once the judge she sees there will always be a hearing -- on -- he violate this. And usually it's pretty obvious that they violate things because they show up in person or they sent a letter C center attacks. In this half in this world so it is social media there's play any of -- evidence and when people violate. -- we've talked about -- -- show about how people forget about the fact that once once they do something or they put something out there. On the web. It is there are firm well and can be retrieved and shown as evidence you're so right and it's not just what you put out on FaceBook. But it's your taxes there forever -- a dead man to your emails their forever because she saved it. And I tell my clients time and time again I send it to a gentleman this morning he said to -- I. Knowing sent an email to cook and I said to -- only send what you would put up on a billboard. Well that is good if that's good and a new asteroids and you would have to justify adding that in court you shouldn't send -- kind. As a joke and once it's gone it's gone needed and I can't you can't treat it and write it used to be I'm. Older obviously. And it used to be if you wanna say something nasty and you wrote it in a letter and you put it in the desk and didn't think about it and look it's the next day when you cooled down. Yeah no problem now is to put people have that the send button. Yeah the send button -- and the nasty email the Nancy tax. Goes to right apple Larry -- bed FaceBook message goes it goes right on end is disseminated. And there forever now what's the criminal of the process and the criminal court system. For violation of a PSA -- so the first time you go to jail. Well it's up to judge what happens OK okay so the judge may put you in jail from. The judge may put you wanted to for probation from an OK because McCown he's obviously have. Passed the financial consideration of now we're housing. This doesn't it's gonna be okay says net and I'm using the term as gentlemen. I should use determines violator because it could be either gender test. So that. At that point they decide is this egregious enough that the person's gonna go to jail or do we put. -- -- in a type of probationary. Status where they're on probation and if something else happens so go to jail immediately. And they need to if they have an alcohol problem maybe they need to go on -- on our program. Well -- a program where they take urine tests on a regular basis and in -- county and it's a color system. Men if your colors read it and they call you love to end. And 5 in the morning 6 in the morning and tell you okay your color came up today you need to report by 8 o'clock. And giving urine tests and that's your day and you better show up okay. -- then let's say deserved second violation. Of the PSA now second violation -- taken very seriously and I would expect. If you prepare for incarceration Kathleen says surveillance test so NASA they raised the -- they can get out. Well. -- the court looks at these things on an individual basis as to. But what's the most egregious thing that happened to him I mean as a guy sent a letter in the mail. Maybe it's not it's not. An immediate type threat. If on the other hand he came to our house and wanted to be erupt again some real serious thing. And you realize he had somebody do who is probably very difficult to control. Yeah. -- myself. Are what happens with the PSA process OKC get -- temporary order in the temporary order according to the statute. Require it can be just done. The -- the plaintiffs say sound OK they're there actually is. Recent case law that says you're supposed to have like a -- hearing at that time. And that would be you in front of the judge telling the judge what happens. Within ten days she should have a hearing on the PF AA itself. Okay and there would be. A hearing we can present witnesses of what happened to see whether or not to PSA should be granted but PF they can be granted for up to three years. Now what does happen in a lot of times a lot of cases particularly where you have to have long term abuse. Hello women drop this PSA test -- have they want to reconcile. Have children together. The -- even though he shouldn't be talking to the plaintiff is still talking to the plaintiff. It it is a violation if you if you talk to -- it's a violation if he can try to go through third parties but in any event data. Happens on time so let's call the fine get back to the next step. We're gonna take a quick break your listening until Arian -- show with our. Guest expert has attorney Barbara Harris and will be back after a quick break -- Saturday morning I would Gloria -- and now. -- -- Well we're back good morning my name is Linda Evans I'm the president and CEO northeastern financial consultants. Where fee only financial planning firm in clarks summit. And my co host. -- -- who would normally be Chiming in to tell us her story is not here today. She's had a death in the family and will not be able to be here we are indeed still. On the air and we're here with our guest expert attorney Barbara O'Hara. Who's from the law firm of musicals and I have. And I'm mark Pennsylvania. And we were talking right before the break about PSAs and how they work and why that's important to understand the process so we were discussing. That's what happens when they come up for renewal and sometimes women. Choose not to continue the PSA because they want to reconcile. Or something else comes up so we address let's talk about that. Your PSA hearing -- -- it's negotiated or the judge determines the lengthy hearing if you go suck sometimes. Pound. If a defendant is represented by counsel. Thank council looks at what the allegations -- and looks at the witnesses and may at that point determine that you better just settle this. Sometimes you can settle for less than the three years that this statute says it isn't the longest term of the PSA. What do you mean by an unsettled this drug panel what's your what your what's your -- -- -- An announcement. By saddling it I mean it reached an agreement without an admission. That the PSA is going to be granite how they entered an order that says yes I don't admit any thing but it. We're going I only -- -- get away from her I agree she it's is inclusive possession the house. And I agree that she has custody of our children and hear the terms of custody because that's all something that it gets worked out. At the PSA hearing from what determines our custody how you're going to do the currency exchange because you don't want. The the parties to have contact with each other may -- pick a third party he's gonna do it towards the children are old enough. Fit then it's a pick up curbside. If they're not old enough and you have a third party you may. Actually do the arranging or maybe even go out to his and a commercial establishment where we needed the McDonald's and DVD exchange therefore we needed and there are. Police station the words this state police parents have a duty he's got something that's contingent upon having filed divorce action going off notices have been -- -- Where there's no divorce pending an okay. Despite her exact. A lot of -- bays are between people who aren't even married how OK and you and -- -- PF AA -- you know mother father men and I'm sorry. -- -- Parents with their children and if there's been some kind of physical abuse or threat of physical abuse yeah. And that happens Q okay so in any of these cases and you could. -- and this usually happens if you represented by counsel. Because when you're not represented a lot of times people say well the judge just tears my story happened back then they blow -- green onto that. Not to have this PSA. And really when you're doing is putting the judge in a tough position. That they look at this person who says. He hit me. Four you threaten to hit me Furyk he threatened to kill me or he ran me off the mood blur he was driving so close to me then I was afraid to. And then I would have an accident. So now you're putting the judge in a position of saying. I don't believe her and I think it's a candidate they all go home together and you really waiting for the next crisis to happen happen. Which is it is a tough thing men obviously the judges are looking tired -- competent people caring people they're not looking. Too good to put anybody in harm's way so they're very normal. Human reaction is -- to keep these people -- -- don't hurt each other. Because the instances of a domestic violence are staggeringly high yeah I mean and the places where people are getting killed in the courtrooms. Aren't family law cases from there are nine in these big -- corporate trials and they're in support cases in custody cases in divorce cases. And PSA cases you mean literally being killed in the courtroom yes if you look at the -- that's why I am absolutely fine. With with all the security measures that the court had asked him because people praying. And they shouldn't come people bring much since June. And get people carry you'd be surprised what people carry. And have you seen that actually when used it and when you've represented a client and a divorce hearing. Or pay a fair hearing where there actually have been people that have come into the hearing to have had weapons removed from ma'am yes. And what happens is in all of these cases you go through security and they make sure that you don't have any knives on you don't have any wow. Any. I haven't. I had one client bring a gun to my office plus. I've had people. Lose their knives when they came into the courthouse and oh I forgot that I had this pocket knife or whenever it's still eleven. What do you do in in in a private situation like what her client came into your office with a gun. What how did you handle that. -- he came in he -- to show me any gun any put on the table. I told him to put away. I I I was hoping that. And he told me get a carry permit but still it's you know in a very volatile divorced since the last thing you need. Okay did exactly in his sorry go back to get actors saying too that the PS data and you can either reached an agreement. And the agreement would address. Your custody arrangements address who has exclusive possession of the house. Because it might be that the plaintiff long -- but now is going to go live with family and eat you. You negotiated turn four when his knack -- that. Transfer of possession when it happens doesn't affect the title tune the for the property doesn't affect. Copyright -- your divorce. But let's say she said okay fine great actors my filing of the PSA. I wanted the house but I realize they can't afford the house I'm gonna go live with my mother. A mile away and OK so on such as -- today signed an entry in her possession over to him. And that's usually done with the local police and the and constable and soft contact at. So. What I was saying about the term this statue says that a PSA order can be granted for three years. And if you. If you negotiate something you could negotiate for shorter than that. But the maximum would be three years if she goes through -- contested hearing most of the judges will award three years. So as their reason for the three years. As the statistically does that mean and they think they used well when I first started practicing it was a year -- went up to eighteen months then it went to two years now and now. They'll come he went to three years because they saw. That's how long a lot of divorces were taking Powell and the reason for the three years they figured that would get you through the divorce yes. Because if if you don't reach agreement on the divorce under. Consensual no thought then you needed to your separation. And you can't. They can't do it much. Too much -- anything until you had a tear separation OK okay -- one party says I'm not gonna consent the other party says okay what can I do. And if you wait for the two years and then start litigating them. So that's what the legislature changed it to three years to get people through the divorces so you think that the PSAs are actually honored by the majority of people. Against whom there. Yes yes I -- and failing that yes it really because you only hear about the cases that. And when they -- where they violate them and quite honestly. If you go to anyway these counties there's a tremendous number of PS face there might be healthy yes. Yes I really hit a cut and so on any given I know like Orange County. Does these over the course of some of the three days they schedule. Some three days a week and they might have fifteen on a day wow OK so. And adds fifteen of either new PSAs. For somebody wants modified PSA -- somebody wants to drop a PSA. Now the court system looks at this and they wanna make sure that the person who wants to drop it is in being pressured to drop it. And also whether or not it's really the prudent thing to do. In a lot of cases because it -- If you're an abusive relationship. And a guy says you okay dropped the PSA. And I'll do everything you line Johnson PSA and we'll get back together and everything in the great. And a lot of people want to they want to go back to being an intact family they want to go back to a happy relationship. Unfortunately in most cases yeah unrealistic getting exactly exactly because if a guy hit -- wants. Doesn't taste too much yeah for endanger a second time right. And where you've already been beaten up. I think says the counselors will tell you statistically. It's. It's so easy for him to -- into that second time right. But people do stay in abusive relationships sometimes because. They don't have a way to support themselves. Or they think they're going to lose her kids. Boy they really still have hopes and that's that the relationship gonna turn around and there's many many other reasons. A lot of reasons I mean that's. I don't know how many people. Listening known that the I was when the original. Founders of the women's resource center in Scranton because. I knew that there was at that time it was in this the mid seventies. And it it it's kinda went. Hand in glove with the idea that the whole feminist movement was starting this awareness of the fact that it's not okay. Just to be quiet about domestic violence. And that so many women or in abusive relationships because they thought they had no choices. And -- was a lot of what's been going on with women graduating college and having. Degrees and capable of being able to support themselves the whole idea of having to stay in really bad abusive relationship. Because they had no choice was going away. And a lot of it too came from a religious belief that you know. You've heard the story a thousand times you've made your bed and I got a line and it kinda thing and that when you're married you marry for life and -- and no reasons. Aren't good enough for you never get a divorce. Well that was an old way of thinking in a lot of and the church doesn't think that way anymore exactly and that's what I am saying that a lot of that went away. So that I don't know if there is really a lot more domestic violence. Then there was in the past or were just knowing about it Mormon women are talking about a more. There are now the services and facilities that exists safe houses in places like that it just -- here that's very forty years ago. So I nearly did there was -- there was intolerant -- -- And a tolerance that now win learn when. A -- will come to me and say I know I'm getting beaten five mice. My religion is that I have to. Stay married yes I will tell them go and talk to your priest yeah because. None of the priests around here will say you need to stay in a physically abusive relationship right you need to stay in emotionally abusive relationship. You know -- you look at there religious tendencies everything they're doing about. I'm degrading and there's there's spouse or partner is contrary to the religious relationship where. Another still some. Relations on some. Sub -- of those religions where that is the case when they they believe that women are second class citizens and they need to be. I'm just you look the other way if there's any kind of abuse it's expected that there's -- abuse as well fortunately the legal system doesn't think of that. Yes hello this is tell us that this newness. It says and Nolan should be treated like that yes like with Kathleen tell Greek and no one should ever be beat Mike -- thanks tackler suffered a kind of death. -- suffered a kind of in existence and I mean -- I know the whole history. Of her case was in the paper the other hand. She had filed a PSA -- in January 2013. I knew their criminal charges filed. In the summer and then she went into dropping it in in December. But if you -- still. He can't abuse other women absolutely and there are other PSA -- and a one thing until women time and time again is. Watch how he treats someone else because. You're not the first woman he -- How and if if he's physically abuses. To someone else he's gonna do -- and -- -- continue. And it's sad thing is time and time again people don't research that now -- available online -- Are gonna talk about that only comeback from a free because it's very important than information you have to share. So you're listening to -- -- and -- show. Minus flurry but Flynn still there. And we're talking to -- talking with the attorney Barbara parent. And we're talking about domestic abuse and we're talking domestic violence and will be right back after this short break. -- -- We're back. You're listening to alive and so -- its -- you're listening to the lower mainland show. My name is -- Evans and president and CEO of northeastern financial consultants. Where fee only financial planning firm in clarks summit. And we're talking this morning with our guest experts. Attorney Barbara O'Hara. And I I have to also mention. -- can miss that here with us this morning she is. With her family they've had -- my family and so she is not here condolences to look -- yes and tell her family. And we were just talking about. How old. We do so much research on the things in life that we think are important like. Picking a college for children. Researching. Mortgage rates of all kinds of things but we don't really check things like. Criminal records and -- and other information that we should know about people we date especially before we married them. Farm Ewart telling -- says there's there's some ways to find out about this therein I'm fine. What used to happen is she grew up in a small town you knew someone you knew you may be -- items -- a child -- Neither family can we do lose it in the skeletons in the closet you need people to stay away from in the people the people not -- it. And historically. When you stay in that area you can feel pretty safe. People -- -- just in their small little -- it's now eight international and updating internationally they're meeting people on. -- all kinds of stuff. Social -- social media but also know. I mean the world's going to more mobile than it's ever been. See you look at this and say people don't necessarily know much about the backgrounds of the people that that they're meeting but you can research that. -- can I tell people you know it can put as much time into choosing a relationship it's good for you. Rather then why did you date this mean I dated him because he asked. And you just compensate -- decent guy who's going to be good for me or is just a woman he's going to be good for me. And then you look at this and say OK fine you you know maybe you'd talk to talk to friends. But there's there's site web sites. That you can research people and then aren't and they aren't you can find people's criminal records confirm if you wanted to go county by county confined his son. On the Internet under the unified judicial. System the UJUJ. -- any going to docket entries -- in the county and you check that. Can't please records he checked demand just your records or there's two apps that I know I think you can use on your iphones in Smartphones. And one of them is docket in your pocket. Which is 23 dollars and you can. Statewide to see you know. What's this guy's criminal record or what's his woman's criminal record or docket load -- which is free but you do have a lot of commercials on. And with those web sites -- what I do and I'm going into a hearing and I know that this person is coming in. Come to testify on somebody's behalf or. Now come. Parties are required to do an affidavit before any custody hearing of what the criminal records aren't up themselves and people in their households. Okay say that that that's an added bonus as of January 30 this year that you have to disclose that fact now this the other thing that I think people should check is -- this person's. History. Have they ever happy days against them before he had. And what I always see when I represented someone I PSA is the last girlfriend has no one or 2 PM phase the one before that. And PSA and a lot of times the allegations at the same thing he broke into my house he tried to choke me those kind of things do look at this and say. On my couch it would be nice to know this the -- hands. So feature should counties do you have wealth like Lana has a web site. Fuller and it's black wanna county got a work week to go in and you go into the public records and it. Check their under the -- the general index and put in the person's name and see what's out there. These are public records anybody can research when they also have things and there are like tax liens and and things like yeah against them they just so you get an idea of their credit history Taylor can. Bankruptcies. And stuff well not bankruptcies because that would be federal. -- thank you could see any kind of -- this filed with the county. So that could be a federal tax cleaning can be estate tax claims it could be a judgment from someone they could be credit card judgments those kind of things poor you know. Let's check out and see if they have. Prior PSAs filed against them because you don't need to be that next woman -- you don't need to be -- next dead he's not the last guy on the island -- so. Or less woman on the island because I -- you know -- guess they're right there on turtle in those defenders to avoid yes and that's OK you can pass on some of these things and maybe you need to resurgence in the next person you date yeah and that's okay. So. You know somebody who won't tell you. There criminal history or won't share with you that yes I had other PSAs. And if they do share with -- if they're blaming the other person all the time. I think you have to sign away here's a real big red flag in hand I'm not going to be the third woman then had a PSA against whom. Cocaine. I feel the same way about. People let her divorce foreign five times I think sometimes you don't need to be the next person. You say anything you can take a bite on that one. So it but there aren't resource is out there and if you fielding nearing an abusive relationship. And and feel trapped number one seek could legal advice and find an attorney dead -- -- does this. For a living that this is the mainstay in their practice so that they can direct Q and and appropriately represent you. Yeah. But I just an interesting side effects you mentioned something before we heard on -- about. There was a test yesterday in the papers and I ran in dear Abby yesterday. It said are you in an abusive relationship. And it it had a number of the questions that I think about ten questions -- does this happen -- Denver and there's a lot of tasks like an online where Hamels. I talked to some people and they said they didn't even realize they were in an abusive relationship but they didn't know why they were so unhappy yes. And a good abuser will convinces you that it's all your calls to ask. It's not their father and it's not something they're doing Q. It's all your slump because you're stupid here whenever it's OK some good degrading thing that they call you or make you feel. Yeah and you -- I've seen many very bright accomplished women but there in horrible relationships. But any free DN in the middle of the did it. Though Amanda -- feminist movement was in a horrible relationship. Erroneous analysis. It out and he he was very abusive towards her now but she wouldn't go out and make these speeches and it truly believe these. Thanks again and then at some point kind of the relationship what I didn't know that while that's that's a very interesting comments sound. That's shows how intense. The work is that somebody does as an abuser that they can have somebody. That prominent talking about exactly what. Avoid it and you know I don't would be -- what a good attorney will will tell you is that you are not trapped in financially you're not trapped. -- that you have recourse through -- -- the abortion support system that you can get spousal support alimony tendency to pay child support and you don't need to stay in this relationship. And even if you have no children and you're not married to them there's no reason to -- in a relationship where you could get her camp and a free sources. And Lindsay wants to address of the resources that are out there for accounting purposes but seek the services have a good good attorney who knows what they're doing. The other thing. I wanted to ask about big -- because I know that this absolutely does exist. And the women's resource center in Scranton and also the victims resource center in Wilkes-Barre. Both of them address this situation. Where there are children. Who are also physically abused by the abuser. And that it's very difficult for them to get any kind of health because it. -- children and they are trapped. -- OK so and I can address that yeah. If your children and a lot of women will come in and and say to me well he's been beaten me often and you know I can take an -- adult. But when he started beating got a chance. Sometimes that happens as the kids get older they get now -- And natural progression with the child but you can file a PSA for benefit. For on on behalf of the minor child. So let's say do you see now to some ugly physical. Thing happened between your husband and your son at that -- you can say OK -- one of my options. 2000. Get the abuser out of the house and to protect your child would be to go and get a PSA on behalf your -- How about sexual abuse. There are times when that happens and they and that it's so difficult to get the child. To admit because the abuse or. Convinces them that this is not something you should tell mommy that's true but there are still -- once that comes to -- -- it usually know they will. And -- county has. It has facilities for this but where the tone could be examined and it is its custom made for that okay I'm. But the child has to come forth and and say something. Well tell us would you now. But there are a lot of times I know his instances of sexual abuse where the child was so convinced by the abuse sir. Not to say anything. True that they have never been they've held the secret for years and years and years there was just yes this morning and buster ever is my. And the guy was 27 years old finally came to terms with them and all those from Jerry sandusky. The victims as well it's it's very different called I think before my child to be in their relationship with an abuser. And it and have a parent to be silenced. The other parent to be silent on the issue. For no apparent I mean it could be NN turnaround -- something like bad and you just cannot get sent information out to get some help. I think that that concerns me and I know that most of these organizations that we don't talk about. -- programs specifically to help children and teens. To get that kind of help. Without. Fear of losing their lives. By the abuser I know black -- -- just opened up a thirteen senator from new. -- full on with the children's advocacy center because they realize that if you have teams that are are sexually abused you also have to have young children. So they're old facility was more geared towards younger child but now they have their nineteen Senator Clinton and there are resource is out there. And if you suspect since then that they know how to deal with with children and it's not so horrible. Go into the police into the PlayStation. And and tell. Until the police officer your story five and six times I tried I handle it in a -- and their their children like that can't get there but. A physical exam -- -- China guests could showed that castle and that's with it that's what they do because sometimes into into China can't verbalize that. Cooler this child CC building -- like. Yeah that's even worse yes disabled let's talk about where you can get some help. In the Susquehanna and Michael -- counties. You wanna talk to people on the women's resource signer. There is. A number that's told trees there there all the time you called the offices of 3464671. That's -- hotline. And that's for black one -- Susquehanna counties. Four. Lucerne carbon and Wyoming counties there's a victims resource center and that and number I wish I had here but I don't. A yes I do. Tony for our support is 18662069050. 8662069050. And then for Scranton -- 3464671. Please if you're in these situations and you suspect that you may be in an abusive relationship or your children are. Please call -- gets some help. Personal note my condolences to. Two and I Kathy catamounts family and I Kathy now teller Hillary go but I knew is Kathy -- went to work to domestic relations and -- some very nice person and then my condolences to her family. Thanks and so as -- was saying she were here. Be careful. BC. And the nice and then now we'll think -- fine thanks.