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WILK News Radio>Audio & Video on Demand>>The Laurie & Lynn Show

The Laurie & Lynn Show

Apr 12, 2014|

Saturday April 12, 2014

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

The following is a paid program the views or claims -- or not necessarily those of WI OK staff management or sponsors and it's time for Laurie -- live. -- don't -- we do. -- -- Until -- lie okay. And. Good morning good morning how are you today. Just wonderful and all I'm just ducky. Duck duck -- Like it's beautiful out so massively nappy it's marvelous. The monastery. And daisy and is finally here and time love. When my name is Lynn Evans and I'm the president and CEO of northeastern financial consultants. Where fee only financial planning firm in clarks summit. I'm I'm Lori Kaplan the owner Larry cat financial crisis which is safe fundraising PRI special event business from them. And how was your week clergy and it was kind of yes yeah I live in a slow week last week. So it was good and a good weekend. Mr. -- -- as. Apart flown south to Florida the other day you can do if Tuesday can't be -- back on Tuesday. Visiting relatives since hanging out with some friends -- she deserves and needs to do which is good. Since he's in the semi retired mode I was out what is well let's send my you know with him that we have college -- I didn't think using retired at all and I now -- yes he is okay well I was in Florida last weekend and came back yesterday. Just so we clarify things just for people -- met don't know me I'm nowhere near retirement age because he grabbed the cradle. -- just so we all know that. It's a big difference today. Idea okay. How -- truly know how big. A land years left well this is a big chunk Patrick gage in Napoli is nine years old man I know my mom my dad was -- nine years -- and my mother really difference in when it comes to. Retiring or having the time when the one person has more and one is still in the throws of you're fifty you still working awfully hard. Hey you're -- and get -- random moment of great yeah exactly so it's a big difference so pastor wanted to clarify that does anyone anyone out there who doesn't know Hawaii and to think that I. Am a retirement age now -- -- anything Ron Wood fat but I'm I'm there. Well Patrick said to me last night and then after we spent. A lot of time with people who work. The elderly shall we say and in Naples Florida. She said the -- now I understand why these old books. Not the end the old books get find these wives that are so many years younger than them -- and why is that well because somebody asked to take care. And I think as a man -- well. That's lovely. Okay. Mike I guess he's not including himself any of my blog carries -- -- look so it's funny because you know yeah that's the case the F. So anyway we had a we had a nice time is -- I like gold box I now. Obviously I do. -- yeah also all that was a win a -- to my room and put a -- he's my -- so doing you know they say when they're -- around you can say what you want oh yeah. I know that I say. All right well Lance. There but I did yesterday have -- With a very dear friend of mine -- Flanagan who is SI say the true lady of real estate in this town. I lover. I'm a machine she used to be with ERA with me and then -- NN bandits now with sound Lewis and Freeman. And I love marriage we mad at capsules for lunch and it was a beautiful day and it was very crowded in there and it was. Just EE like they always say about that place you can not go in there and not be unique in good mode because the colors and then -- it's just beautiful. See I'm crap we had was wonderful and it was just such a nice place and you know she is. Pat and John are actually closing at the end of August. And it's just I just love to go there it's there was really really crowded. And I just can't wait because he knew I was looking outside nice it's about two that it was a nice that we can be outside the outside is just fabulous tell. So. Anyway -- have to say it was great need that kind. Moment gardens are incredible time nowadays and I can't say that grounds are beautiful it's just a great place. Well I tell a story this morning you know yes I do. So here we go. -- It Isabella told her mother she was thinking about getting a vacation property. Her mother and child of the depression was not in favor. How would you be able to afford to retire and have a mortgage. On a second house you don't really need she wondered. Isabella thought about it for weeks. She decided to listen -- mother and passed on the opportunity to buy this property in Florida for a really good price. The house was everything she wanted to in the community that would give -- -- pool. Maintenance. Tennis courts closer a great airport and access to private beach. She had a friend who introduced her to the community and would have loved to have her body fireplace there. Isabel was very angry and confused she felt like her mother's words kept -- inner ears. But she knew she should be able to make a decision as a grown woman and not as a child. She came to see me when she could take it no longer. She. I was looking for an opinion from a dis interest to third parties tell her if this was a good decision or bad one. After she got over the self loathing for not making the decision she really wanted to make we look at the numbers. Her retirement package was much more involved and she knew. She had many options to consider besides the monthly income for life. Once she's on the money she could take no lump sum and then the amount that -- be able to take for the rest of her life. She realized she could afford to buy the place and secure her own retirement. She left the office and called her friend in the vacation community. She was so sure she would not be able to buy a Condo she loved but she wondered if there were others available. My serve surprise her friend told the Condo was back on the market. Because the buyers who came after her could not secure the financing. The seller was so motivated to get rid of complacency by another house in the area and needed the money the price was dropped 20%. She was elated she called the -- and overnight in a down payment to secure the deal. Her financing was already in place and the closing date was set for two weeks on the day she called. Needless to say her mother was still not in favor of Isabel is decision. Until she went there and -- a bedroom for herself. Now mom as a regular for at least two weeks every winter -- end. That -- scary you so motivated by my trip there I can Amanda and weekend I was thinking about that and -- client who. Had considered this and made the decision based on her mother's words. And I always say to people I just wrote a blog about it this week. That's so many times people make decisions based on the stories that are run around the back of their heads. From what they were taught by their parents and is called well meaning there and there was no malicious intent. But they're not necessarily relevant when you consider. The circumstances this woman. Was making six figures and you know she had she had a wonderful life and she really wanted to look at this place not necessarily. As a place to retire to at a place who would love to spend the winters. And did her mom's you know growing up from the depression. You know you only. But what you mean he is yes that what you want to know what you need -- and so. And that story kept running through her head and she just realize how much of her life. It was based on decisions about whether or not she needed something or she won something she's taking care of her needs. Very very well then now she's in a position where she wanted something and it would make a difference in her life and she could not. Distinguish the story. From the truth. And so when she was able to separate that saw that she could do both. She was -- and so she went to a place and menace. Her life great. So we need to think about those things we just assume all the time -- thank junk is for real. And it's not all well and it's true and again being married -- you just got back from there it is it really is a great place tennis. It is amazing just the sunshine alone is -- net. And that and -- the green that's everything is green flowers. Are just -- I'm all year round. Did you hear that did you read an article sent in -- rob if they were talking about the world group. Then it might the reason that we have what we have -- good boost the negativity is the son lack of sun boom in the region Clinton. I mean yeah there's nothing gets off when it's sound it's great. Yeah like Florida Floridians never say oh it's so beautiful today the -- up it's always now like what else is -- When I was strained my right there but it's temporary. And then we -- that meant that after it is everything and do more lush because -- know it -- it's just amazing. -- so did you have a safe a good trip families and -- being -- manner while I was -- left. Because it was very windy that day as I once we got above the wind come it was a totally. Uneventful trip. And landed desk earlier than we expected and I sunset was beautiful in Florida. We went to a place for dinner on. Whenever and I was so -- NN against. A place that's on the beach and we watched the sunset. Iowa but I didn't realize is that apparently this a big thing in Florida or in places that are on beaches. As soon as the sun finally went below the -- horizon the bell rang. This big bell and everybody started applauding. I've never heard of a lot. Planet did -- -- pretty neat they really get it on the West Coast of Florida maybe is I don't know but it was pretty much. Fun and I just thought well that's cool people really need them then have a son yeah and it's neat and very. He's pay attention to is that I guess no because the other not so overwhelmed with craziness and alliance. But it was really it was a lot of fun and I enjoyed the food was great the seafood of course if you're seafood person. Was so fresh they went out. Kind of boat ride. During the week. And it was one of these little cruise ships that takes up and down. CM waterways and I have never seen homes. Like this in my life I know they're beautiful it's a minimum size was a 5000 declared there unbelievable. And the one guy who used to own Aetna life insurance company. Thirteen children -- its own place on the on the corner of the corner of the river and the Gulf Coast. Huge huge huge property for thirteen each child has its own bedroom. And he's now building thirteen homes for one for each of his children and then nice yeah. So that was our fancy trip and -- yes. -- -- until you're back and forth to preempt they weren't nearly three days there. The other two days Hurley travel days but -- -- there was thanks. So. Half marathon happened to collect her and while -- -- guns Pelosi though integrate yet. Great time and -- d'antoni and lots of running events around here there was a complaints in the paper this morning Thursday morning's paper. That's one of the time clergy was upset because it was run on. Sunday. Half marathon and many people could that streets were blocked they couldn't get church comment I don't know. Dan Marino so maybe not started known something next time amount but these -- the live and learn things yeah. Now that's that's nice that does so well into the agency. -- -- marathon on Sunday. Yeah yeah yeah. But maybe it starts I know I don't know but apparently this person -- Complaining that people couldn't get church not good now. Mouth doesn't go over well for people who can't affect the what else is what's going on stranded and missing thing Merrill hits and move well like I said it -- it's been a little quiet but -- can't -- it's all good this week this is -- Busy but just. In general I think this time of the year. It distracts that we didn't craziness of the rest of the shipwreck I think. How much like as we talked spoke with Jeff last year the real estate market just -- keeps coming -- -- -- didn't collapse happening and it's just I think everybody -- We said before that you're ready to go people are -- in -- this weather some much better. Yeah -- but we're gonna talk about lots more stuff in the next. Half. Segment so we'll be right back you're listening this morning tomorrow Raymond -- -- -- -- -- Good morning good morning. My name is Linda Evans and the president and CEO of northeastern financial consultant -- fee only financial planning firm in clarks summit and I'm -- can the owners -- -- enterprises which is say. Fundraising PR and special event business. And I am cutting out before you interview. Attorney Barbara jail -- today and I will be cutting out next week when you interview. With statue of fiber plant that sounds. Just so we know I have some running. -- running running running to them anyway. So you are telling me you wanna talk about what. -- he fights. Similar to what you're going to talk to Barbara about the little bit right yes. And that unfortunately doesn't and well now it is what I did what did something she always tells us about your money issues shouldn't in your marriage should be the same as in as your divorce is I think that's a great core love Adeline yen. Because really. Unfortunately carries in -- -- for most people yes and whenever punitive behavior they want to instill on the other partner. They try to do it through the divorce and it just doesn't make sense doesn't make sense. But see that this is something meant as interest saying there was an AICPA. Survey. And how finances. Cause what they call breaths from I'd say major explosions. For American couples. I didn't. They state that 30% of all couples argue about money. And I know I'm sorry 30% of all arguments are about money -- couples wants first needs. Unexplained expenses in the sufficient savings are the top three battles. Couples averaged three arguments a month about finance solutions three in ten adults or marry a living with a partner. Admit to potentially deceitful behavior about money. That's the lines you know where you put the stuff in the trunk. I'm telling you say anyway -- the zebra you know. And then and they see and you saw all this little thing I've had a few years. It's really easy for us a script and to second that -- -- and I can't I am so. What they're saying is the financial arguments most often are over differing opinions. Of needs vs wants with 58% of those who argue about money identifying this issue as the most common cause and about half. Most often argue about unexpected. Expenses. And a third argue about insufficient savings. Much of their relationship conflict can be traced to a failure to communicate about finances. More than half adults. -- marry a living with a partner says they do not set aside time on a regular basis to talk about financial issues. Money is a lightning rod for conflict and relationships because this is sensitive topic. And each person brings a different perspective based on their past experiences. Which is what we just talked about and -- I have the question. Three -- four years now. And in near thirty some years of your business in and talking to people. And I understand you may not talk to people who necessarily don't have money to invest that this man will be a little bit of their reach but I don't think -- Do do you find that really this this bickering as she just said about not having enough money saved or not saving them a lot enough. Do people really. At the older people do they really suffer that much by not having a significant or sufficient savings as they go through the aging and living expenses -- your life. Well no it doesn't seem to me that people don't. No I think says people who are now bunt please call the baby boomer generation. They had it the advantage of having had a 401K plans and their lives. So for a lot of people it was an automatic thing in an even think about they just. Whatever was 3% 5% of their salary. Went into this with just an overarching sense of I have to save for retirement. That that was as as intense as ever got. I just have to save for retirement but the presumption was that the husband's income. Was the larger of the two and therefore he had a larger for a plan -- a life since. And many times the wife would have. I'm teachers' salaries so they were under the state teachers' pensions. Or they were under. Hospitals they were nurses or teachers the majority of women. And so they were covered under something but they never really. Thought about it it was just an automatic thing and then by the time they got to retirement they would take a look at all what have we accumulated. But the savings. Vs spending patterns. Are very different for each couple some people who came into this who had parents who were raised in the depression. That you did one of two things they either saved everything like their parents taught them. There was a very. Almost a religious passion about it you know that I have to have a certain percentage in my checking account all right don't feel comfortable. Or went the other way they credit card debt out there was -- because -- about whatever they wanted to buy. With the presumption. That well I put my money aside for savings for retirement rather sign up I have this money to burn. So that. There's very rarely come a couple that we'll -- say 20000. Dollars in my saved my savings or checking account. And I don't know what to do with it. It's generally I have 20000 dollars in my checking account and that's what I need to feel comfortable -- For I have nothing in my checking account because everything that comes in -- -- I'm bill -- including. Credit cards and things like that so they're buying things they want first is things they need to. And the people who had 20000 dollar balances. And they're checking accounts rarely buy things they want they buy things they need. And did you did tell me you read that book from that guy died broke did you tell ever enacted -- that his velocity is Susan who cares what your dad is when your. -- -- -- I know that it's is such an extent live for the money they have day -- and you have what you have if you feel like you need to go do something to conduit. Yeah I think his famous sock is he talking more though for people who are sort of mice and I'm look what's -- good word I'm. Who are. More thrifty let's put it that way. And and don't wanna spend because they're afraid their money will be gone. Yeah and so they don't enjoy the life they could because I won't spend it. Or just in general it's for middle income people who really don't have. Millions of dollars set aside they have maybe somewhere between 250 in half a million dollars and that's what's gonna sustain them. In retirement but it's really not enough. Because if -- are looking at that say well let's say it's half a million dollars 'cause it's easy to work with the number. Let's say you're you're gonna withdraw 4% which seems to be their current number. That's 20000 dollars a year. 20000 dollars a year from your investments plus. Maybe somewhere around twenty years 30000 a year find yourself necessary change the that's a decent living. You know that's okay. But it doesn't allow for the 101000 dollar trip around the world. Lower the vacation home for the night it might allow for a couple weeks of vacation maybe go to Florida for two or three weeks. And if that's what you want fine but what she's saying is at some point along the way. If you're doing this right. Why do you want to leave all that money -- kids. Expensive out and take it puts a third of the question I always ask as well do you know when you're anti. And I do know when you're gonna known or nursing home if you ever going to nursing home. Because that's going to be 100% consumed. By the nursing home because -- and that gray area where you have to burn it out in order to qualify for Medicaid. Did you end up being that thrilled about that idea but yeah you know it's somebody's got to pay for it. So his point is if you can. Take some money and go do some things you've always wanted to do on your bucket list maybe not outrageously expensive things. But start using some of that with -- But the idea amended and you know this is your life going music and don't save it for your kids. And it and I asked you believe that's going to say something and I guess I lost friends and -- Yeah well of what happened but what else were you reading and that made me well because I don't. We're always talking alone no idea what I was gonna say once again that goes back to what you said one person's need again these are all. And and you're -- of what you need first is my idea of what I need. Are two very different things yes and when you get into a marriage I was -- invest. Where you have two different definitions of needs and wants. That's where the conflict occurs because you may think you need a new refrigerator. You may think you need a vacation. And your spouse may think. You're this refrigerator is fine. Why do we need a new one and it's usually the male who says this different or are you fine and anybody who says we won it in the -- who says we should take a vacation this email would rather have the refrigerator right. And so that's what I'm saying that's what causes the issues to -- to get. Blown out of proportion than the fights go but nobody can -- really distinguish that what which we just distinguished. That it's a difference between your definition of me behind my definition of need. And my definition of wind and you're still want and it's no different from the money angle was a psychological angle that the war -- -- just. Did did the stuff you bring -- like they say it is and the marriage that's the issue. It's still luggage that you're bringing to end the baggage so to speak. True this marriage from your homes of you know origin yeah true where you're bringing two families and what they want collide. And that's what causes on that -- -- -- -- bringing with few your parents are quite concerned say this what you brought up premiered here. Your family and then UP trying to make it work under one roof. And your both coming from different ways of of being raised in a living and you're like senior needs. And if you can't talk about that. -- hadn't even RRC zero unknown. So that's that's the kind of thing that's kind of thing happens pan -- or what they end up doing and this is a compromise. Is that as it was. But you know -- talking about earlier that the point is that you have a joint account to take care of the basic living needs like food. Not closing the food. I'm mortgage. Utility bills and insurance assurances on the cars enough bonus stuff. That's the joint account where you both contribute proportionate. Please pay the bills like your incoming right to pay that. And if you have your separate accounts if you want to save some money for vacation I want you want a blown and a vacation. Fine if you want us then go out and buy some clothes. Fit that you feel you need. You do if you wanna get a gym membership. Fine if you wanna join something else -- so you're saying all these things prior to the getting married or in living together whenever they should be. Discussed at a satellite healthier way to do is saying it our money our money is pooled to pay the expenses. And then you have some money and I have some money were able to do so that you because my thoughts aren't we viewers are so that way makes each other happy right I believe that that probably is a far better way of doing things if you have the luxury. Of being in -- could well be in that position yes and that's again the reason why most people baby boomers. They don't have these issues is because there was generally a primary breadwinner. And they always combine to anything they made together in one checking account and everything was agreed upon a page from there. And so that whenever they saved they saved collectively. A lot of times couples today don't even know what the other person is saving or spending is no clue kind. And and some people would say it's -- your business if I am earning money that's the equivalent or more than yours are now it's is very strange situation. There many women in a marriage. Who are out earning their highest priced. So where do you go without one that's that's really tricky that's a big thanks so much Guinness. No business more though a lot more reasons to have fights about money now than there were 25 years as weird as it has -- has more money being made right. So they asked. Yes it's strange -- they could get -- bits of information I think said and that's another thing that I'm on the next month with Barbara. We didn't even extrapolate them because I think that's. I think she would say we know that that causes so many issues like doesn't have different divorce and doesn't know she's gonna talk a little bit about its money back. The issues of and I think Kansas -- excel. We're going to be right back we will be next step with our guest expert -- will be with -- vibrant. Attorney Barbara. -- -- -- Good morning my name is Linda Evans and the president and CEO. A northeastern financial consultants where fee only financial planning firm and clarks summit. And our guest expert this weekend. His attorney Barbara O'Hara who's been with us. Quite -- year more and she is an expert in family law she's a partner in Nichols. Then Nichols it's years Mickelson now haren. But thank you for a fireplace emea and he should be the anyway welcome Barbara thank you very much it's nice being here and we're gonna talk about a couple things that we called the myths. Of a very funny period that some people. Think about when they consider the idea of a divorce so it's between the time when you separate. And the time you actually have the divorce final there's a lot of gray areas in there and there's a lot of myths people have about. What is possible what's that I would call the old wives' tale but I don't mean that to be -- fine. -- down and and actually it there's a lot of grammar and supposition. Out on the street -- of what people value. And actually in my practice -- deal with a lot because people say. Oh well I heard from an arguing with him and I'm thinking why are you getting your legal advice from somebody at a bar a little. Or somebody in your bowling league today that you know that you might work with. You hired an attorney. They're the person he should really should be giving. Note that and it's okay here's one I've heard and that one is. First person to get to the joint bank account can take at all. Well to be honest with you -- Pennsylvania's America property state so anything acquired from the DD -- to the -- of separation is considered to be -- property. And that. If you have 3000 dollars in -- bank account at the time that you are separating where if you physically separated the time your filing. The court will look at that as that 3000 dollars if -- the party who takes it then I presume that that's 3000 when in your in your pocket. To be honest with you that -- thing to do list is to divide up those things -- aft do you consider what bills are outstanding. When a lot of people do is they don't consider the checks they have outstanding all the checks that counts and then it's a problem for both of them. What really should happen is that too if you divide up what's left after it did checks her out stand. Okay have you have 300 dollars worth of checks there don't take that 300 dollars yeah. OK or else you gonna have not all of those insufficient fund fees too -- So if -- -- steps that grabs it all. And there's nothing to offset that in the divorce by by that I mean there's not other assets let's say the only thing happened with that bank account. Then you really need to go into court to get equitable. To get injunctive relief. So is to get that money back this is before the divorce is -- Yes actually. Yeah that you can do that anything going for four inherently -- a lot of times you'll see people where there's also grabbed everything and you need to go in for. Time to relief -- to recoup the -- and what happens if you had a joint account where. You both are contributing some part of your paycheck to it to cover your living expenses and now you have to separate living. Conditions. So how'd you. Determine which of those bills that still have to be paid every month. Get paid in and with the spouse who is now has left has a new place to live with that spouse be forced to contribute some portion of that. Those costs for the house typically not -- other than if they're ordered in support. Action typically what happens is people separate. May be the person who remains in the house has care of minor children. They file for spousal support and they filed for child support. If they have an extraordinarily large mortgage the court can order an extra amount of money to two. Help to cover it doesn't always cover but helped to cover. The the mortgage because the presumption of support laws is they don't wanna see more than 2.5 percent of the parent who's staying in the house having their income going towards the mortgage taxes and homeowner's insurance witnesses they look to see. What what is that parents earning. Net monthly income and what's a parent going to be getting in support. And they look to see is it's. How does that compare to that 25%. And so that I can go line for the entire period they can divorce trial yes thank. Next man. Yes the next myth that I I've heard is. Well if I filed for divorce if I leave and filed for divorce than I have I lose my kids. Now -- and now. To be honest with you that should never happen because it shouldn't be the penalty for the -- party would be loss of your children. And the courts and tried to get away from your kids being property it's divided up in divorce. And what they try to do is determine custody right away in your. Divorce in fact black wanna requires that you schedule comes to conference when when you file for divorce. And what happens if you don't file what happens if he -- separate. What that's agree area knocking -- so he's decided to separate and you're now living in two different homes. What do you do about the kids do you decide what the custody well arrangement as best case scenario is that the parties would be able to. Determine what's good for them and for their children. They they know better than the court system what you're work obligations what you're extracurricular. Type things are. And what your kids. Need. So. The best case scenario is you sit down with your spouse with the calendar and say OK when we -- want to see. That then can be put into a custom stipulation approved by the court and here's your court order. Says that if somebody violates that. You can go to the local police in -- it's 8 o'clock on a Sunday night I'm supposed to get kids back and he refuses to give. That's when law enforcement can enforce a court order and what. A lot of people. Encounter at the time of their separation is there are things are so bad that they're not able to sit down and talk to each other. And you schedule Acosta conference and the court determines what the schedule is by which you see your kids. OK so there is. It's not an all or nothing now -- years ago it used to be that that was determined kind of at the end of the divorce. And whoever grabbed first ended up having them. And a lot of women at that point and been practicing for 33 years would say well okay fine I'll give up our rights to his pension. And he can back off on custody for other -- reality of the situation was he never won it that much custody of the kids anyway. And you were giving up a very substantial last and in order to do well that's both unfair too dependent spouse. Also pretty unfair to kids that. They are now part of the property it's divided up. Between appear it's. And he says the courts try to determine that early on and -- that it's not part of the property you're -- the divorce. When you have a situation like that where there's such a physical separation but -- but no one has yet filed for divorce. Are there. Different set of circumstances. That exist legally. In that. Great period there than there are after a divorce is filed not necessarily now because. Let's say -- We're not ready to plan for the divorce but things were becoming so difficult in custody. That you said I don't Wear flat for the divorce but I do -- a file for custody. You can just for -- you can file -- complaint. And the courts could could determine. -- in both black one and Lucerne -- there's a custody conference deceive. You know can -- ignorant order based on an agreement of the parties. And there's -- masters that tried tried to reach agreement or make a recommendation. Another one here all the time and I'm entitled to half of everything. Actually that's not true. On a positive. And -- The court doesn't say everything is picky picky with the court says is we're gonna divide is as to what -- in your circumstance. Or what's equitable and your circumstance and there's factors that are in the divorce code as to what's there. So where he's making 200000 -- making zero. May be 5050s -- your circumstance. Maybe it should be 64. Maybe maybe it should be some other percent so yes you're entitled to. To an equitable interest in everything that was acquired during your marriage but the percentage may not be 5050. But I do the same to gain equal and equitable to as you know and there's a hole lining cases. Saying you don't even started 5050. You look and says what's fair and the factors are tired and a lot of them. Our economic factors. There's no marital misconduct in the factor. Of who gets what so all the time people will come in today he cheated on me they're for you get nothing. Plan. That's not how the courts operate either because they look to see what's the -- thing in their particular circumstance and they look at. All of that the actors and you read. Yeah. What -- what are the things we do. Wanna say to some women who are thinking about this that are afraid to make the move because they feel like they're something they're missing hair and that they might. They might make a huge mistake. By separating before they filed for divorce. Well to be gasoline need to get good legal -- yes and a lot of times people are filled with misconceptions. Of either what they presume is the law. Where what somebody erroneously told them -- the law. And nothing's going to be more important in your life and making this kind of decision it involves everything you care and life. It involves how much money you're going to have to live on. Where your children are gonna live everything that you own in the world. And people will say well you know I can't forget legal advice can afford knocked -- yeah. And at that point you have to look at this and say okay. You know I might just gonna leave this up to chance or am I just gonna presume. I don't get anything in his pension. Many many times when I'm coming in and say well he told me on the last tax cuts. He's accident. I mean the courts and is determined with marital property according to the statue. And if he's been working for twenty years and and fifteen an -- marital they're kind of looking at a fifteen of those twenty years of his pension is being marital. And even though he said to -- little over my dead body year and again. XY and see your game. And it may not be plants and it's and a half and I think. His -- So I mean that's really like that legally. And you know operating in where you don't really and know that and a lot of times its its years of being told where you can or years of being. Demeans or there. To the point where. A lot of women -- see. Will come in an ace they say oh I just wanna leave with my kids and don't leave with anything else he has some how you gonna -- gonna do you. Mean you've been in this marriage for twenty years you you're entitled to something to and then you start going over what's -- -- property and you see their eyes open. And they say. But I don't think he's gonna mean. Well this isn't this isn't. An amicable prospects. So in any event that's typically what happens then and it it means the other spouse needs to get educated. And that can they. -- can have -- yet in a pleasant manner or very unpleasant manner good. You know you eat you -- The problems of your marriage should be problems if you divorce. So if you're being told. You know you can't. Yet this or you're too stupid to. Get a job where whenever all of those things that have kept you down learn. -- kept hearing code in your place you know really. If it with good -- legal representation. You don't have to have that problem anymore. And how can people get a hold of you if they need to find you are I am located at 1421 east drinker street in done more. And my phone number is 5703447171. OK okay yeah thank thank you very much nice talking to. And be nice and be safe. We'll see you next week thanks thanks.